


Crack Week 2017

by Asylos



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Crack, Crack Week, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-24
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2019-02-06 06:31:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12811689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asylos/pseuds/Asylos
Summary: I’m not sure how many prompts I’ll manage this time, but whatever I do will go here.





	Crack Week 2017

"Le théâtre des tentacules"

Cloud Strife of Strife Delivery Services was not happy to be at the opera. It wasn’t that he disliked the theatre. No, quite the opposite. He loved going. On his own. Everyone who saw him tonight thought he was with Tifa. And he supposed in a way he was, they had come together. But he wasn’t /with/ her, and the lewd “knowing” looks from the other guys at the venue who saw them were really getting on his nerves.

“Just ignore them,” Tifa said as they took their seats. “The people who matter know the truth. No reason to let them ruin this. And at least no one has bothered me since you’re here.”

Cloud grumbled but said nothing, crossing his arms against his chest as he leaned back in his seat. He knew something like this would happen if they accepted Reeve’s tickets. But he’d been so damned convincing, and Cloud had made the mistake of mentioning the sold out show weeks earlier, so there was no denying he wanted to go. Just, alone. 

It was halfway through the first act when he noticed something was odd. He knew Tifa would not be putting her hand in his pocket, and she was the one on his right side. Whoever it was was thoroughly exploring his pocket and reaching awfully close to delicate areas. And it didn’t quite feel like fingers that were feeling around. 

Cloud slowly reached for the blade in his left boot. (He accepted there was no room for his sword in the theatre without blocking someone’s view, but under no circumstances was he going anywhere in Edge unarmed.) He slid the knife down between his seat and Tifa’s and sliced at the darkness. 

He heard a yelp, and muffled cursing. Then the theatre seemed to shake. It stopped quickly, and the show went on. It would take more than a small quake to interrupt the most anticipated show of the year. 

When intermission came, Cloud excused himself for the restroom and snuck into the stagehand area. Everyone was bustling around, far too busy to question him, and he made his way beneath the seats. It was there that he found them. 

“Oh please, it’s only a scratch!” Genesis declared as he bandaged the tentacle sticking out of Sephiroth’s jacket sleeve. “You need to get back up there as soon as intermission is over if we’re going to have time to empty everyone’s wallets.”

“Maybe you should do some of the work then!” Sephiroth said as he pulled the injured limb against his chest. 

Genesis snorted, “Some of the work! You think running this place isn’t work?”

“Are you boys having a little marital strife today?” Cloud asked, leaning against one of the support beams nonchalantly, cleaning under his fingernails with the knife. 

“Strife is right,” Genesis grumbled. “You’re to blame for this, aren’t you.”

“Me? I was just trying to enjoy the show, until someone decided to pick my pocket.”

“Your empty pocket. You told me to get a job. How many people do you think will hire someone who tried to destroy the planet. And I failed! That doesn’t even show good work ethics!” Sephiroth argued. 

Cloud sighed and slipped the knife back in his boot. “Fine, you can work for me.”

Sephiroth grinned triumphantly and walked over to stand with Cloud, giving Genesis a wave. 

“Now you,” Cloud said, pointing at Genesis, “better come up with a good reason I shouldn’t tell Reeve what you’ve been up to.”

“What if I convince Sephiroth to sleep with you?”

“I can manage that on my own, thank you.”

Genesis snorted, “Really? You don’t seem to have succeeded thus far.”

“That’s it, I’m calling Reeve.”

“Don’t do that,” Genesis pleaded, “he’ll cut the funding and we won’t have any theatres.”

“That is a good point. But you’d better stop robbing people!”

“Soldiers honour.” 

“Come on,” Cloud said as he turned to leave, “the show is about to start again.”

“I don’t have a seat,” Sephiroth said. 

“I’m sure we can use Genesis’ box seats. It’s nice and private.”


End file.
